Monday night was a scary night for our family. Mike and I received a phone call that every parent dreads. Erica and Daniel had been at karate class and she was taking Daniel home. About 9:45 my cell phone rang. It was Daniel telling me that he and Erica had been in an automobile accident. Fortunately it was only a few miles from the house so Mike and I raced down there as quick as possible.

When we saw my Mustang … the car she had been driving … we were surprised that she and Daniel had walked away with only minor injuries. But an ambulance still took them to the ER nearby to be checked out.

A guy ran a red light and Erica t-boned him which caused the Mustang to spin 360 degrees around and sideswipe another car in the adjoining lane. The Mustang was totaled. Here are a couple of pictures. It was nighttime so the pictures aren’t as vivid as they would have been had it been daylight still … but you can get the idea …

This is the front of the Mustang looking toward the driver’s side.

This view is looking toward the passenger’s side.

Anyway, not only has this been a traumatic experience for me and Mike, it has been extremely traumatic for Erica and Daniel. Last night, as I was loading dishes into the dishwasher, I was standing there thinking that had things gone differently, I wouldn’t be standing there doing what I was. I very well could have been at the funeral home making arrangements.

Forgive me, those of you who may be insulted by this, but it’s so cute I just couldn’t pass it up.

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As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP. (Sever Late-Age Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT(Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel’s Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, an employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand. And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

THE MANAGEMENT

Mike and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this past week. He surprised me with an out of town mini-trip this weekend. Seeing as how it was the 4th of July weekend, he apparently didn’t plan things out very well … or so he says. His original plan was to take me to Coushatta or Lake Charles to the riverboat casinos since I’ve never been to Vegas or anyplace like that. But all the hotels were booked up except the hotels that cost $300/night and up. Not quite on our budget for a weekend trip. So we drove to Brenham, about 2 hours from home and spent the night in a bed and breakfast inn. It was lovely! And I enjoyed it much more than I probably would have enjoyed the casino. Anyway, the bed and breakfast inn was located in the downtown historic district and had lots of stores and places to browse. Lots of good eating places, too! Then Friday night we drove to a small town outside Brenham … Independence, Texas … and watched their fireworks display. It was nice to get away and spend time alone with each other. Here are a few pictures:

This is the front side of the bed and breakfast … The Ant Street Inn

This is the back of the property

The gazebo out back

Our room