I am having so much fun researching my ancestors but it sure can get confusing sometimes! I think I’ve found someone and then after doing more research I realize I’m going down the wrong track with my search. Sometimes I have spent hours and even days on it.

Anyway, today I made a trip to our local library … which is a really modern state of the art facility, by the way … and thought I might look up some information in actual books instead of just internet. I was also on a search for some books on depression for Erica to use in a project she’s doing in her psychology class at college.

Well my search for genealogy books was unsuccessful as I quickly discovered I can find the same information (with a lot less effort on my part) by going online. The only other option for me would be to make visits to actual cities and town and cemeteries and all that. But the trip wasn’t totally without some benefit because I did find 3 books that I think will help Erica’s project AND I got to visit with a friend of mine who is on staff at the library. He researches genealogy also and we had a nice chat. I also got some good tips from him on searching.

I came back home determined to knuckle down and do some more research … and … well, that hasn’t happened yet. So I guess I will be like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind and say, “I’ll worry about that tomorrow.” Sigh …

I thought I’d post something positive for a change since it seems like I’ve been living up to my expectations of posting things on the WHINE Bar … emphasis on the word “whine” … so here comes some good news.

In hopes that one of these days in the near future we will be at a point where we are ready to move to the country, we have decided that there are some things we need to take care of as far as our house is concerned. Even if we weren’t considering a move these are things that need to be taken care of. So we met with a guy last week who gave us an estimate on replacing the wood (with hardy plank) on the back side of our home. We also decided to have new windows put in at the same time. I’m really excited about having it done because (1) the house will look so much better, and (2) our cooling/heating bills will decrease because of the new insulation they will add as well as the fact that the windows are so much more energy efficient than the ones we have now. And we will contract with someone to paint the outside of the house where we don’t have brick … not much to paint. Of course, on the down side, we’re in debt again … but it’s going to get us a lot more $$$ when we do sell the house. And we will have paid it off by that time anyway.

Once we get all of the outside taken care of and paid for we will turn to cosmetic things INSIDE the house. Our house is about 25 years old … and so is the kitchen. So updating it will be one of the things we’ll do. Of course, we will be conservative in how much we spend … don’t want to “overdo” a house in our price range. And we will also tackle both bathrooms. The bathroom in the main part of the house doesn’t need a lot of work other than replacing the toilet and maybe laying down some new floor. The previous owners did a lot of updating before they sold the house to us. But the master bathroom really needs a face lift.

I’m kinda excited about all this “renovating” that we’ll be doing. I’ve always thought it was a waste (not literally, of course) to make all these type of improvements because you want to sell you home for more $$$ … but not have time to enjoy them a little bit before you actually sell. This way I will get the best of both worlds. The updates will still be “new” enough by the time we sell but I will have been able to enjoy a new kitchen and master bath for awhile.

The next year will be an interesting journey. I’m ready.

Got an email from my ‘cuz this afternoon and decided I’d do an update on the MIL situation. For starters, she had her kneecap surgery on Thursday of last week. We did seek a second opinion, like we said we would, but decided to go ahead and stay with the first doctor. The surgery was done outpatient and she was back at the nursing home by noon’ish that day. Mike had set aside enough money which allowed us to pay for her to stay there until she goes back to see the doctor on April 1st. After that, depending on what the doctor says, she will probably have to come back to the house and stay with us.

At this point I don’t know if she will have to have therapy on her knee. If she does need therapy it’s possible the doctor may write orders for her to go to a rehab place. But then again, he may not, and we may have to have Home Health Care come in to do her therapy. Either way, I’m thinking we’re going to have to bring her back to the house eventually, and that doesn’t exactly make me happy. But what else can we do?

I keep thinking about her dementia/Alzheimer’s problem. It seems to me that having that type of mental problem ought to be reason enough to put her someplace where she can be monitored. I mean, even if she comes back to live with us and even if she manages to get around with a walker, there is still the good possibility that she is going to fall again … and maybe next time she might be at home by herself. It also concerns me that she might go into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat and end up leaving a burner on or something like that. Even though my stove is electric, she could still accidentally touch a burner or drag the sleeve of her housecoat across the burner and we’d have problems.

On the other hand, there is the issue of the 5 acres of land she technically owns. Since the land is still in her name, Medicare considers it an “asset” … never mind that it’s not a LIQUID asset. Even though hubby is her legal guardian and has been for 6 years or longer, we have never had the land transferred into his name. Big mistake on our part! If she ends up going into a nursing home, Medicare only pays about half of what it will cost per month. That’s where Medicaid would kick in to pick up the difference. But with her having an “asset,” we will be forced to sell the property and spend down that money before Medicaid would kick in. No telling how long it will take the sell the property. What do we do in the meantime?? So that’s another issue that we’re dealing with. It would do us no good to put the land in hubby’s name right now if she goes into a nursing home permanently because Medicaid checks back several years to see if any assets have been “mysteriously” transferred to someone else. Either way, they are determined to get their $$$.

HOWEVER, if she ends up coming back to live with us then I told hubby he needs to go ahead and put the land in his name now. Who knows? She might live with us 3 or 4 or even more years before she absolutely has to go into a nursing home. Maybe by that time we will have had the land in our name long enough that Medicaid couldn’t touch it.

Take a word of advice from me … anybody out there who is getting older and has children, you better think about transferring assets over to your children (or someone else) before you get to the point where we are with hubby’s mother. Transferring assets like that might also prevent your children from having to pay inheritance taxes when you die … and we all know that only 2 things in life are certain … taxes and death.

And I got this one from my sister. This is how my piggy bank looks after I pay for gasoline!

Here are a couple of pictures from the LPHS ‘08 Military Ball. Erica and a few other alumni went Friday night.

Left to right: Alexandra, Jesse, Erica, James, Jesenia, Robbie

Erica …

. . . MIL is finally in the nursing home, but only temporarily. We need to get a second opinion on surgery for her knee. The current orthopedic doctor wants to do the surgery as an outpatient at his surgical center … key words his surgical center. (Me thinks me smells a conflict of interest there.) That’s why we need to get that second opinion. He balked at doing it in a hospital, so what does that tell you? Anyway, in order for Medicare to pay for therapy in a facility of some type after her surgery, she has to have the surgery done in a hospital and stay at least 3 days. She’s almost 84 years old so I don’t understand why he’d suggest doing it outpatient anyway except for the fact that if he does it at HIS surgical center then HE gets the money instead of the hospital.

We finally got the paperwork to the nursing home but it will be Friday morning before we can take her there. In the meantime, my nerves are frazzled. We bought adult “diapers” for her in case we couldn’t get her to the potty in time … but now she thinks that means she doesn’t have to tell us that she needs “to go” so she just wets or poops (sorry, folks) in her diaper. Her precarious mental state is even worse than before her accident. [I saw this same type of thing happen to my mother when she broke her hip ... her dementia/alzheimer's suddenly jumped to the next level.] I’m seeing the same thing with Beth. She seems disoriented at times.

And this morning while I was at the doctor’s office with Erica, Beth found her medications … that she usually takes at night … and took them again! Unfortunately she was able to wheel her wheelchair close enough to the counter where I had placed them that she could get them. Mike discovered this and fussed at her about it. When I got home and he told me, this is how my conversation went with her:

“I hear you took your medicine while I was gone.”
Yes, I take it once a day.”
“But you just took it last night. It hasn’t even been 12 hours since you took it. Mike fussed at you about taking it, didn’t he?”
“Yes and I’m sick and tired of him. He just wants to gripe all the time.”
“Well he had every right to fuss at you. What you did is dangerous. He only fussed at you because he’s worried now.”
“Well … whatever …”
“No ma’am, cut out that whatever crap. Let me tell you something. I know you don’t like your son, let alone love him, because you’ve said as much. But you should be thankful he even lets you live here and that he takes care of you like he does. Most sons, whose mother treats them like you treat him, would have just put you out on the street. So change your attitude. This is my husband you’re talking about.”

I hated that I lost my temper with her but she is one of the most angry, bitter persons I’ve ever known my entire life! She has always been selfish, and Mike suffered for it as a child. I have a tremendous amount of respect for my husband because in spite of his childhood, he’s one of the most giving and caring people I know.

We saw the ortho doctor this morning. He wants to do surgery … in 10 days! **!!!()(!!@@@ Says he wants the swelling to go down. So in the meantime, Mike and I are scrambling to find someplace for Beth to stay until the surgery and while she is recuperating. She is totally helpless. No upper body strength at all. Not supposed to put weight on the foot either … we got Medicare to spring for a wheelchair … at least that’s something. But my house is split-level so that doesn’t work very well. Of course, it’s better than carrying her around everywhere!

We talked to her primary care doctor and he’s working on getting her a place in a nursing home wile she waits for surgery and after surgery when she’s rehabbing. Hopefully we will know something tonight or first thing in the morning.

Every muscle in my body aches from lifting her … I have a healthy respect for people who work in nursing homes and have to lift people like her all the time!

Murphy’s Law … when it rains it pours … whatever you want to call it … that has been my day! Erica is sick again and I took her to the doctor this afternoon. I stopped at El Toro on the way home from dropping off her prescriptions and picked up supper for me, Erica and Granny Beth. We ate about 4:30. I came into the computer room to do some genealogy stuff and first thing I knew, Beth had fallen on her way to her bedroom. I took one look at her knee cap and called 9-1-1.

We went to the ER and 5 hours and an x-ray or two later, the verdict was in … a broken knee cap. Surgery is pending. We see the ortho doctor in the morning to find out when. Hospital didn’t admit her … sent her home … what am I supposed to do with an 84 year old woman who has a brace on her leg and isn’t supposed to put weight on it!? “Use a walker” the ER doctor said. Yeah, right. She can’t even keep her balance when both legs work so how is she supposed to use a walker when it would require her to hop on the only good leg she has left? And getting her out of my car (Mustang) and into the house was a real experience, let me tell you. Mike was out of town when I called him to tell him. He’s on his way back home as we speak. Thankfully our friend, Don, called me while I was in the ER with Beth to ask about something he was supposed to come by and pick up. When I told him what was going on, he said he’d meet me at the house and help get Beth out of the car and into the house. Thank goodness we had him! Erica and I just could not have done it on our own.

Now … I sit here at the computer … exhausted beyond measure but unable to sleep. I’ll pay for it tomorrow, I know I will. I have to get up early and make some phone calls to take care of some business for Beth, help her eat breakfast and get dressed, and we have to be out of the house and on our way to the ortho doctor for an 8:30 appointment.

I think the time has come when we are going to have to put her in an assisted living place or nursing home. Especially once she has the surgery. There is absolutely NO way we can take care of her at home. This will probably end up being an answer to prayer … at least, that’s the way I’m going to look at it.

Click (or copy and paste).

http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1

Birth Order of Children:
- 1st Baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
- 2nd Baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
- 3rd Baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
- 1st Baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
- 2nd Baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time the breathing didn’t do a thing.
- 3rd Baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette:
- 1st Baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
- 2nd Baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
- 3rd Baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:
- 1st Baby: At the first sign of distress … a whimper, a frown … you pick up the baby.
- 2nd Baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
- 3rd Baby: You teach your 3-year old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:
- 1st Baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
- 2nd Baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off when some juice from the baby’s bottle.
- 3rd Baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:
- 1st Baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
- 2nd Baby: You change their diaper every two or three hours, if needed.
- 3rd Baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
- 1st Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies, and Baby Story Hour.
- 2nd Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
- 3rd Baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out:
- 1st Baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
- 2nd Baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
- 3rd Baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:
- 1st Baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
- 2nd Baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
- 3rd Baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (A Favorite):
- 1st Baby: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
- 2nd Baby: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
- 3rd Baby: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!