Well 2006 is quickly drawing to a close and that always makes me stop and think about the year.  The older I get the more melancholy I get.  I look back on things that happened and people I met and sometimes wish I could have a “do-over” as we kids used to say.  But then there are some things I wouldn’t change.

So I’m curious … leave me a “comment” on this post and tell me the good and the bad of what happened to you in 2006.  And is there anything you would do-over if you could, and why?

I’ll be waiting …

Our Tuesday night ladies group ate dinner at Joe’s in Kemah tonight … it was our after-Christmas party.  Here’s a slideshow I put together.  Click on this link and watch it.

< http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?instanceid=48853137&emid=728958>

Did I mention that I signed up for an online creative writing course?  Well, I did.  It cost me $75 and I have 6 months to complete it.  It’s not worth any college credit or anything like that.  It’s just a certificate type of course.  I’ve always enjoyed writing and have said that I’d like to write a novel some day.  I want to be better at writing so this course seemed appropriate.  It’s proving to be more difficult than I thought, however.  And here I am, all this time, thinking I’m such a great writer of stories!  Ha!  Oh well, at least it should be interesting, if nothing else.

Well I’m glad the Christmas rush is over even though Christmas is my favorite time of year.  Our church will be having a New Year’s Eve party at a local bowling alley again this year.  We rent the entire place and then have bowling competitions.  It’s a family type thing so all the little kiddos are there, too.  My Tuesday night ladies study group is going to form a team and try to beat everybody else!  So say a prayer for us because we’ll need it!  They’ll be giving away door prizes throughout the night, too, so I’m looking forward to that.

Gotta go for now.  Chase is packing up to head back home later today.  I need to spend some time with him.

(Above:  Me, Chase, Mike)

(Above:  Chase, Mike, Erica)

(Above:  Rick and Pete)

(Above:  Rick)

(Above:  Me and my momma)

(Above:  Me and my sister)

(Above:  My momma)

(Above:  After dinner … everyone was full)

(Above:  More after dinner “glow”)

(Above:  Me and Erica displaying our Christmas socks!)

It was a good day …

What a week it was!  We finally got through the “Christmas Store” at work and then I had a day and a half to catch up on all my “normal” work that I usually do in a week’s time.  Then Chase got in from Longview Friday evening early and we all went out to eat Chinese food.  Today we went to Fry’s and bought a 42″ plasma TV … wow!  What a picture we have now!  That is the family gift … Mike, Erica and I decided not to buy for each other and to pool our money for a new TV.   Erica got our old TV that was in the living room since the one in her room was pretty much no good anymore.  Tomorrow (Sunday) we go to Giddings to see my mother and spend the day with my sister and brother in law.  We will open presents there, eat dinner together, and then drive home that evening and open our presents … (well, Chase will open presents since we didn’t buy for ourselves) … at midnight like our tradition has been for about 10 years now.  Then we can sleep late on Christmas Day.  I think we will have good ole Texas brisket for our Christmas dinner.  Turkey is fine but only on Thanksgiving.  Ya’ll have a wonderful Christmas!

See ya tomorrow, Sis …

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care,
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I’d wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer,
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds; now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn
Gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation’s removed I’ll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
“In the morning I’ll starve…
’til I take that first bite!”

It’s over! Finally! The Christmas Store at work … today was our last day. As of last count, we gave toys to 105 families. And let me tell you, I am exhausted beyond description. I have a very healthy respect for all people who have to spend all day on their feet working!

We almost ran out of presents before the last families shopped … almost. The good thing is that we had plenty of helpers … people wrapping gifts, helping the families shop, keeping freshly baked homemade cookies and hot cocoa available all during the day. Even though I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very tired, it was a good feeling to help so many people. God is VERY good!

Here are some pictures:

Click on this link below.  You can “elf yourself” … it’s really cute.  It turns you into a dancing elf.
http://www.elfyourself.com

Well this is going to be my crazy week at work.  Starting tomorrow, Monday, we open our annual “Christmas Store” where we allow needy families to come and shop (for free) for toys for their children.  We allow 3 toys per child.  Tomorrow we have 43 families signed up with a total of 102 children.  Do the math.  That’s a lot of toys.  The store will open at 8:15 and the last appointment of the day will be 4:30.  Then we will do an inventory of what we have left and most likely make a mad dash to Wal-Mart to buy more toys for Tuesday.   The store will be open again on Tuesday, and I’m sure we’ll make another mad dash to Wal-Mart Tuesday night, because on Wednesday, that’s when our BIG families shop.  Each of those families has anywhere from 5 to 7 children each.   All total, counting all 3 days, we have 105 families and a little over 324 children.  Wow!  That’s almost 1,000 toys we will give away in 3 days time!  Seems impossible, but it works every year.  This is the 3rd year our church has done this.  And we do it all on donations from our congregation.  That’s what this season is about anyway … giving out of love for other people.  So anyway, I will probably be away for awhile.  I can already tell you that I’m going to be EXHAUSTED each day when I get home … and I still don’t know what time I’ll get home each night.  So if you don’t hear from me for a few days, don’t panic.  And if I don’t get a chance to tell you before … MERRY CHRISTMAS!

1. Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2. Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3. Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

4. Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And
Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And
Fire Hydrants And...........

5. Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are

6. Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

7. Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not
Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

8. Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

10. Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My
House

11. Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House
in My Slippers and Robe

12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I
Burned Down the House

13. Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While
I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

14. Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!

Okay, here’s the story. Back in October I ordered one of those 7 foot pre-lit trees from a catalog company … I’ve ordered from them before and never had any problem. Well apparently everybody thought the price was excellent (and it was) so the trees were backordered. No problem … I kept track of it online and delighted I was when it arrived yesterday. But my delight soon dwindled when I opened the box and discovered that the WHITE tree I had ordered was actually GREEN. Okay … no problem. I can deal with green. It wasn’t my first choice but at this late date I was just happy to get a tree period!

So I eagerly opened the wrapped sections … there were 3 of them … and much to my dismay I discovered that although I had 3 sections, two of the sections were the same size. Instead of small, medium and large sections I had 2 large and 1 small. Just won’t work when you’re trying to put the tree together.

I was so bummed out! You just can’t imagine how bummed out! So I decided to call the company and complain and tell them I was sending the @*!! tree back. As luck would have it, their phone lines are only open 8:00 am to 4:00 pm central time and it was already 6:30. Arrrrrgggg!! So there was an option on line to send them an email, which I did, and which was pretty scathing, if I do say so myself.

So I guess Mike and Erica love me more than I realized because they climbed up in the attic and brought down the tree we had last year. Yes, it’s WHITE. No, it’s not pre-lit. But knowing that “wife / mommy / crazy woman who wants to beat someone up” was near her melting point by this time, they graciously put the lights on the tree. Then I helped Erica decorate it. I decided to do all gold this year and have been collecting ornaments and various things to hang on the tree for the past several months. It actually turned out looking rather pretty … here’s a picture of it …

A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks for all of them to put in their Christmas cards.

In each card she wrote, “Buy your own present” and then sent them off.

After the Christmas festivities were over, she found the checks in her desk!

Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from her with “Buy your own present” written inside, but without the checks!

(A poem by Sharon Steege)

I don’t know where this lady lives nor do I know anything about her, but I REALLY like her attitude!

+++++++++++++++++++

I don’t know who they are
Saying I can’t greet the crowd
The way that I want to
Can’t say CHRISTMAS out loud.

I walk into a business place
See things I’d rather not see
But I dare not say CHRISTMAS
And I have to ask for a “holiday” tree.

What happened to freedom of speech
And living in the land of the free?
How can they take my CHRISTMAS money
But can’t say MERRY CHRISTMAS to me?

Men and women have given their lives
So we could still go free
I wonder how they would feel
Having to say “holiday tree”

Come on, America! Let’s wake up!
Don’t let our freedom escape!
If they get by with doing this
What else will they take?

This is starting to get out of hand
And I’ve begun to keep track
Well, I’ve just about had enough!
I’M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK!!

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS, AMERICA!
I hope this gets all over the net
If we all stand united and take freedom back
It will be our best CHRISTMAS yet!

Ever wonder what happens when you get separated from your husband in Wal-Mart?  Apparently some husbands get themselves into real trouble.  The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Wal-Mart store.  After receiving this letter, she vowed NEVER to take her husband shopping with her again!

+++++++++++++

January 12, 2006
Subject:  Mr. Bill Fenton

Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband Mr. Bill Fenton, has been causing quite a commotion in our store.  We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.  We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.  Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused.  All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below:

June 15:  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

July 2:  Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7:  Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading into the restrooms.

July 19:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, “Code 3 in Housewares” and then watched what happened.

August 4:  Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

September 14:  Moved a “Caution-Wet Floor” sign to a carpeted area.

September 15:  Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows from the bedding department.

September 23:  When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

October 4:  Looked straight into the ecurity camera, used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

November 10:  While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.

December 3:  Darted around the store in a suspicious manner while loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

December 6:  In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

December 18:  Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled “Pick me!  Pick me!”

December 21:  When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, “NO!  NO!  It’s those voices again!!!”

December 23:  Went into a fitting room, shut door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Alice and Frank were bungee jumping one day.  Alice says to Frank:  “You know we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping business in Mexico.”  Frank thinks this is a good idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they need … a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.  As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.    Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.  When they finished, there was such a crowd, they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration, so Alice jumped.

She bounces at the end of the cord but when she comes back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.  Unfortunately, Frank isn’t able to catcher her and she falls again, bounces, and comes back up again … this time, she’s bruised and bleeding.

Again, Frank misses her.  Alice falls again, bounces back up and this time, she’s pretty messed up … she’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.  Luckily Frank finally catches her and says:  “What happened?  Was the cord too long?”

Barely able to speak, Alice gasps:  “No, the bunee cord was fine … it was the crowd … what the HECK is a pinata?!”

Erica decided to use that spray on “snow” stuff to cover our storm door.  Then she drew a snowman on it.  What you see below is the sun coming through the door and placing the drawing of the snowman on the floor.  Pretty cool looking, don’t ya think?

Here it is early December and I’ve already got almost all my Christmas shopping done.  I’m so excited!  I still don’t know what to get my husband, though.  What he really wants is way too expensive for me to buy or even for me and the kids to share the cost of.  So I don’t know what I’ll get him just yet.  And I ordered a pre-lit Christmas tree through a catalog back in October.  It’s been on backorder but is supposed to ship today.  So tomorrow when I get to work (where I have the tracking number and info) I’ll go online and check to make sure it has shipped.  Frankly, I’m getting a little anxious.  And Erica and I went to Dollar Tree today and to a few other stores like that looking for some of those small ornaments that you decorate those little trees with.  (She has a small tree in her bedroom.)  Everywhere we went it was packed with people!  Sheeeesh!  That’s another reason why I’m glad I’m almost finished with all my shopping!  Well anyway, I better get going.  Mike brought down all the Christmas boxes this afternoon and I have a lot of stuff to sort through in preparation for my tree arriving.  Later …

Here are some (supposedly) actual announcements made by airline flight attendants and pilots.  They’re hilarious!  Hope you enjoy reading them!

+++++++++

On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating … you just sit wherever you want to) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing a seat, when the flight attendant announced:  “People, people … we’re not picking out furniture here … find a seat and get in it!”

=====

On a Continental flight with very “senior” looking attendants, the pilot announced:  “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.  This is for your comfort and to enhance the looks of your flight attendants.”

=====

Upon landing the flight attendant announced:  “Please be sure to take all of your belongings.  If you’re going to leave something, make sure it’s something we want.”

=====

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways off this plane.”

=====

As the plane was landing at Ronald Reagan Airport, a lone voice came over the loud speaker:  “Whoa, big fella!  WHOA!”

=====

After a particularly rough landing during a thunderstorm in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced:  “Please take care opening the overhead compartments because after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

=====

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling.  Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face.  If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before securing theirs.  If you’re traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite.”

=====

“As you exit the plane, be sure to gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.  Please do not leave children or spouses.”

=====

Heard after a bumpy landing:  “I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

=====

An airline pilot tells a story about a flight where he had hammered his jet into the runway really hard.  The airline had a policy that required the pilot to stand at the exit door and tell the passengers:  “Thanks for flying our airline.”  He said that in spite of the rough landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye.  He kept expecting someone to make a smart aleck remark.  Finally everyone had gotten off except a little, old lady with a cane.  As she walked past him she asked:  “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”  To which he answered:  “Why, no ma’am.  What is it?”  To which she asked:  “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

=====

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport and after it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made the following announcement:  “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is good, and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.  Now sit back and relax … OH MY GOD!”  Silence followed and after a few minutes the pilot came back on the intercom:  “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you earlier.  While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants.”   A passenger in coach yelled:  “That’s nothing!  You should see the back of mine!”