Well, Thanksgiving is over for another year. It was nice having my mother with us. With her health like it is we never know if this will be the last Thanksgiving we get to spend with her. I’m sure she probably doesn’t remember even being there, but we do and that’s all that counts.

Tuesday will be my last day on my temp job. Unless, of course, the lady decides not to come back until after Christmas. I’m kinda hoping she wants to stay off during the holiday season. I could sure use the money and the job is a no brainer. At any rate I’m hoping if the job ends, the temp agency will have me another job lined up. If not, I guess I’ll wait. I need to sign up with some more agencies and I’ll probably check on that while I’m off tomorrow.

Erica and I put up the Christmas decorations Friday. Today my next door neighbor put up a big 5-foot lighted star on my roof. I bought it 2 years ago at Wal-Mart. Mike and Chase climbed up on his ham radio tower the first year and hung it from there. That was a lot of work. Then last Christmas mother was in the hospital with a broken hip so we didn’t do a lot of decorating. So since Mike took off for Longview today to take Chase back home, my neighbor and his son put the star up for me. Won’t Mike be surprised when he gets home tonight!?

My sister has a new kitten named Samantha. She’s Siamese and has eyes the same color blue as my sister’s eyes. Chase took this picture of my mother Thanksgiving Day.

This is a picture of Erica, Beth (Mike’s mom), my mother, and me also taken Thanksgiving Day.

And this is a picture I took at home of Erica and Chase with their Granny Beth.

We all met at my sister’s house in Giddings for Thanksgiving dinner. My sister and I checked my mother out of the nursing home and brought her to my sister’s house so she could spend the day with the family. She was pretty confused sometimes but it was nice having her there with all of us. She may not and probably won’t … even remember that she was there … but we will and that’s what counts.

This would be handy, wouldn’t it?

But this would also be handy as well, don’t you think?

But my favorite one of all is this …

Do I hear an amen out there???

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I couldn’t sleep.
I tried counting backwards. I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white.
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round.
‘Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees …
Happy eating to all! Pass the cranberries, please!

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes ‘n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious and your pies take a prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don’t scare easily but she scared me so much, I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. Straightening out the car, while using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Darned women drivers!

Tomorrow is Monday and will be my day off from my temp job. I was talking to a friend of mine via email last week who was fired shortly after I was. When her unemployment ran out, she called TWC and told them she had been unable to find permanent work. They gave her another 6 months of unemployment. So I’m going to try for myself.

Last week while I was training was interesting. The first day, Wednesday, I saw a guy drive up on a motorcycle. I told Toni, the girl who was training me: “I think I know that guy on the motorcycle.” Sure enough, I did. His name is Chris and he worked for the City. And yes, he was also fired. He was there to fill out an application. So we talked for a little while. His daughter, Samantha, is Erica’s age. I asked him how his family was doing and he told me his wife had left him for a 19-year old kid. Since then, the kid has dumped her. I asked who Samantha was living with and he told me she chose to live with him (her dad, not the 19 year old!). Then the next day I see a lady drive up and get out of a car. I asked Toni if she knew who that was because I thought it might be an employee (since I’m still trying to learn faces). She said no. As the lady got closer to the door I realized I knew her, too! Ha! I told Toni: “I think I know that lady. She goes to my church.” And sure enough, it was who I thought it was. But that’s not where the story ends. No sireee. A few hours later a lady comes in the front door and begins to water the plants in the office. Believe it or not, she goes to my church, too! I said to Toni: “I know that lady. Her name is Reba and we go to church together.” Reba looked up, recognized me, and we chatted for awhile. After Reba left the room Toni asked me: “Is there ANYBODY you DON’T know?” Ha!

So you see, it was an interesting end of the week for me.

I went to work today for Odfjell (pronounced Odd-Fell … the “j” is silent). Odfjell is a Norwegian company and the only office they have in the U.S. is in La Porte. Cool, huh? I even met the President of the U.S. office today since he works in my building. Ha! Anyway, everyone seems to be nice. I wouldn’t be upset if the job ended up being long term.

I will be trained tomorrow and Friday. So far I think the job is going to be good. I’m the “front office person” and sit by the front door, answer the switchboard, sort mail, and smile at everyone. Not too hard to do. The front doors stay locked at all times and I have a button on my desk that will unlock the door to let someone in that is not an employee. (Employees “swipe” their ID cards.) I even have a paper with pictures of all the terrorists on my desk just in case one should decide to visit the company. (Not likely, I’m sure).

Anyway, I’ll average about 24 hours/week so that’s just perfect for me. I’m a little tired tonight but it’s just the excitement and stress of being somewhere new. I’m sure it’ll settle out soon. I’m just glad I work afternoons and don’t have to go in at 8:00 in the morning!

Well, it’s only a part time temporary job, but it’s a job nonetheless. I start tomorrow. It may only last a couple of weeks but that’s better than nothing, right? And it’s close to home, too … Hwy 146 and Port Road. Here’s what my schedule will be:

Monday: Day off (yipeee!)
Tuesday - Thursday: 11:45 - 4:30
Friday: 8:00 - 4:30

I’ll post something tomorrow night and let you know how it goes.

I’m at the Library using the computer. I have a Friends of the Library board meeting tonight so I came early to just piddle around.

Erica told me this evening that Major (Larry) wanted her to ask me if I would play hostess on Veteran’s Day after the ceremony. ROTC usually sets up a small reception type thing for any of the veterans who want to stop by. I told her, yes, I’d do it. Actually, it surprised me that he asked. After my email to him I was sure he was still upset with me. Guess not, huh?

Well, it’s almost time for my meeting so I’m outta here.

It’s Saturday night and I’m in Giddings. I got to spend most of the day with my mother at the nursing home. She was upset when I first got there because they told her they were going to give her a shower. So I took her to her “house” (which is actually her room) and distracted her awhile. Then when they came to get her, she was agreeable. Later we played Bingo with the other nursing home residents. She won the last game. By this time it was lunch time for her so I came back to Glenda’s house and took a short nap. I went back up there about 2:45 and spent time with her until about 4:45. They eat supper at 5:00 o’clock. Tomorrow morning I will go back and be there at 7:30. I plan to stop by McDonald’s and get her a sausage biscuit with hash browns and coffee. That’s her favorite and that’s become our “ritual” on my last day. Since we have Sunday evening service this week, and I have to be there to sing, I plan to leave Giddings by noon Sunday.

Supposedly this is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.

=======================================

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least, one who’ll cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday,Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Sagittarius

Well, I’ve been “gone” for a few days. Our internet service was out for some reason. Mike was out of town and since I’m computer challenged, there was no one here to fix it I’m telling you, when you get used to checking email all day, every day, and you suddenly don’t have access to it, it’s almost like going through detox from drug or alcohol!

Wasn’t the weather beautiful today? I like this time of year … but I always miss Indiana in the Fall. The leaves on the trees change into such gorgeous colors. I really don’t think there are any words to really describe the beauty. You’d just have to see it for yourself. Another thing about Indiana … I never thought I’d think of barren trees as beautiful, but when you see the snow lying on the branches … well it just takes your breath away!

Mike and Erica left for Bastrop this evening. They have an orienteering meet this weekend. They get there early and make sure everything is ready. Mike is serving on some committee of the Houston Orienteering Club …. not sure exactly what his position is …. but he won’t be competing this weekend. He’ll be doing his HOC duties. I plan to go to Giddings this weekend and see my mother and my sister. Mike’s mother (Beth) has a field trip with the other senior citizens tomorrow. I think she’ll be back around 2 or 3 pm. I’ll have to pick her up or else I’d leave tomorrow morning. If they get back before 3 o’clock, I’ll probably drive on up that evening, but I don’t want to get caught in rush hour traffic.

WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, Please come out and give yourself up.”

WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”

ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked.” No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!) Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER… THIS IS TRUE …Under the boat, still strapped
securely in place, was the trailer.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

OUR CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and, after all, we’re not using it anymore.”

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

“You know, dear,” she says, “I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, and my butt is hanging out a mile. I’ve got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby.” She turns to her husband and says, “Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself.”

He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, “Well, there’s nothing wrong with your eyesight.”

Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 at St. Anselm’s Memorial Chapel.

(Thank you Susie Mc)