I drove to Giddings today since my sister is having catarac surgery tomorrow in Bryan. We will be leaving the house at o’dark o’clock (around 6 am) since it’s about an hour and a half drive from Giddings to Bryan. We anticipate being back in Giddings sometime after 2 pm. Wednesday I will take her back for the doctor to take off her eye bandage and check everything. I plan to drive home Thursday morning after spending a little time with my mother at the nursing home.

As a side note, my good friend Ramona, is in San Jacinto Methodist Hospital tonight. She works for the City. She started having chest pains last night and her husband took her to ER. They’re not sure if it was a heart attack or what, so they will be running tests. The doctor thinks it was brought on by stress. (Well THAT ought to tell you what it’s like working for the City!)

Gotta go for now. I’ll check in tomorrow after we get back from Bryan and let you know what’s going on.

I was just sitting here watching the Lamar Little League game on Channel 13 … I think I’m going to turn it off because it’s too nerve wracking for me! They’re playing California for the right to go against the international winner. So far it’s 2 to 0, in favor of California. I think I’d rather just wait until the 10 o’clock news and find out what happened.

I’m going to Giddings Monday to spend a few days with my sister (and mother). My sister is having catarac surgery Tuesday so I’m going to be there in case she needs my help. I’ll come back on Thursday morning if all goes well, which I feel it will.

Sorry to have sounded so “depressed” yesterday (pun intended!). I’m feeling much better today. I was out of my medicine for a couple of days and who’d a thought it would’ve made such a difference? Well, we have another heat advisory today. I got out early this morning and thought I’d cut the front yard. I made it through about 3/4 of it before I had to give it up. Even at 8:30 it was just too overwhelming for me. Maybe I can finish it this evening when it cools down … you know, like around midnight??? Hah!

This is the “Whine Bar” and I’m going to whine again for a little while. I’ve been battling a problem for a number of years now….depression. It all has to do with brain chemistry. I take medication to correct a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes it. When I was first diagnosed some years ago, I decided that I was going to speak out about depression and try to educate everyone I came in contact with. I came to that decision because I think most people don’t understand depression. They think a depressed person should just be able to snap out of it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people use that phrase. Believe me, if I could wake up each morning and MAKE myself not be depressed, I would. Medicine isn’t cheap, you know, even with insurance. Counseling doesn’t come cheap either and regardless of what you may hear or think, I believe the two (meds and counseling) should work hand in hand. I know it’s been better for me when I could see a counselor on a regular basis. Being in counseling doesn’t make the depression go away but it offers the opportunity to have a sounding board (the counselor) for feelings and also come away from the session armed with “tools” to help cope with everyday things that become mountains in the mind of one who is depressed. I think people need to understand that Andrea Yates and those who go “postal” aren’t typical. I’m not a crazy person who wants to kill people. Unfortunately when my depression gets too far out of control, the only person I want to kill is myself.

When I found out I had depression, I decided to learn as much about the disease as possible. I figured I’d better be informed about this thing that was causing such chaos in my life. Maybe then I’d stand a chance of winning. You’ve probably heard it said “keep your friends close,” but I’m of the belief that you should keep your “enemy” even closer … and that’s what depression is to me … it’s my enemy. There are 3 chemicals (neurotransmitters) in the brain that contribute to a healthy mental outlook. Seratonin, Norepinephrene, and Dopamine. If one (or more) of these chemicals aren’t produced at the level needed to keep a healthy mind, then depression can occur. Depression can also be brought on by stress (we all know about that, don’t we?) and sometimes even our diet. Anyway, there are different types of depression, too. Mine is “clinical depression.” I think it’s probably the most common. Did you know that depression is more common in women than men, although men do suffer from depression? I read that about 6% of the population will have a depressive episode at one time or another in their life.

So that’s why I decided to try to be as informed about my disease as I could and to educate others. If you’re interested in reading more about depression go to www.depression.com. It’s a good start.

What a morning already! Geeeezzzzz … Mike left for San Antonio (driving) about 3:30 this morning. Since he usually takes Erica to ROTC in the mornings to run with the rest of the orienteering team, that wonderful privilege became mine. We left the house at 5:45 (because they meet at 6:00) which meant I had to get up at least by 5:30 so I’d have time to brush my teeth and get out of my pj’s. But when I got back home, I put my pj’s back on and climbed back in bed. I’m so exhausted these days and I don’t really know why. I think maybe the stress of not having a job is finally catching up with me. I’ve been telling myself it doesn’t matter but maybe back in my subconscious mind it does matter.

Well, more later today … maybe …

I had a nice surprise this afternoon. Mike’s nephew, David, stopped by to see me. David lived with us for about 5 years, part of that time was when we lived in Indianapolis. David’s mother, Mary, died in a train accident when David was almost 8 years old. We drove back to Texas for the funeral and then took David back to live with us because David’s biological father was also deceased. He’d died when David was barely a year old. David’s mom remarried when David was 2 years old but Mark (the man she married) was abusive to her and David both. She was separated from him at the time of her death and planning to divorce him. We didn’t want Mark to get David and he wasn’t entitled to him legally anyway because he never adopted David as his own when he and Mary got married. Anyway, David came to live with us and needless to say, had a lot of “emotional baggage” we had to deal with. But eventually things worked out and we found more of David’s family that he could live with. Otherwise all of you reading this today would not be reading it because I’d be in the mental hospital! Thank goodness David has grown up and straightened out his life now. He’ll be 20 in November. It was really good to see him. We (David, Mike and I) settled our grievances a few years ago … he admitted and apologized for treating us the way he had when he’d lived with us and we admitted to our share of not trying hard enough to get him through those difficult years.

It’s interesting how life takes it’s little twists and turns, isn’t it? I was reminded of that when David stopped by today. You see, when Mary died and we fought for guardianship of David (another LONG story), we thought he didn’t have any other family young enough to raise him. He had some half aunts and uncles but they were all in their 50’s at that time. Mike and I were the only young ones willing to take on another child.

Then when we moved back to Texas we settled in La Porte, of all places. We joined a church in La Porte and lived on a street called Quiet Hill. A couple of years after moving into the house on Quiet Hill, we found out that a couple who went to church with us and who also lived at the opposite end of Quiet Hill from us, were related to David from his grandfather’s side of the family. David started spending time with this family and eventually, they wanted to adopt him. (They were younger than Mike and I.) He was agreeable and so were we so we signed the paperwork to have it taken care of.

I just kept thinking about the “what if’s” today when he was at the house … what if we had settled somewhere other than La Porte? What if we had not chosen to live on Quiet Hill? What if we had not joined the church we did? It’s amazing to me, although I don’t know why, how God really directs our paths. We think we do all the planning, and sometimes God lets us … but it was no coincidence that we chose La Porte to live in (on Quiet Hill no less), and Fairmont Park Church to join and attend. If God hadn’t directed us that way we would have never met Chip and Cay and I believe our lives and David’s life, would have been dramatically different … and probably not in a positive way.

More on that later …. (I have to keep you coming back, don’t I???)

Not much to report today … I spent most of the morning doing laundry and cleaning house … oh joy … what fun I had. I’ve been really really tired lately, too, and I’m not sure why. I’m sleeping okay, or at least I think I am. Maybe the stress of being unemployed is catching up with me.

This afternoon Kelly Cummings got married. Her wedding was at 2 pm with a reception at the church. Then there was a dinner and dance (by private invitation) at 6 o’clock at a beautiful wedding place in Conroe. But back to the wedding … I have to say that Kelly was the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. The wedding ceremony was elegant but simple. And David, the groom, well he got so choked up saying his part of the vows that he almost couldn’t speak … and he had tears coming down his face. Kelly had a tissue in her hand and it was so precious to see her take that tissue and wipe the tears away. We all wanted to say “Ahhhhh…” but we didn’t want to intrude into the moment. We all thought Kelly might be the one to get mushy but she was strong as steel! Ha! The dinner and dance was lovely, too. It was buffet style with a good selection of food. And one thing that was really neat was a chocolate fountain. It was like a fancy champagne or tea fountain you commonly see at events like this, only chocolate was coming out instead of water. And we had a tremendous selection of fruit to “dip” in the chocolate. Needless to say, it was a big hit. I told someone that it was a “dream come true for a woman on PMS”!! Ha! I considered trying to figure out a way to hook up a small, indiscreet hose from the fountain to my table so I could have a continuous IV of chocolate pumping in my veins. Just kidding, of course!

Anyway, it was a very nice wedding … one of the best I’ve been to. And Chase got to see a lot of his old friends since they all graduated together with Kelly and David.

Well, I’m pooped now so I’m going to bed. I’m singing with the Praise Team at 2 church services in the morning which means I have to get up and be at church for a sound check by 8 o’clock. The first service begins at 9:15, the second at 10:45.

Friday is finally here and now my mind is straight on what day it is! This morning I drove to Magnolia, Texas to visit Paula, my sister’s friend that I mentioned in a previous post. I brought back some really pretty quilts and things for what will one day be my “guest bedroom.” On my way back I stopped at a mobile home manufacturer … Clayton Homes … and looked through 3 double wides. I was really surprised at the good use of all the square footage AND the prices. The last one I looked at was only 1,475 square feet but had a very “open” feel to it … one room seemed to flow into the other in the main area of the house. It had an “island” in the kitchen (which is one thing I want) and 2 separate closets in the master bedroom (which is one thing Mike wants.) And when the salesman told me it was only $58,000 … I was surprised. No, not because that’s a lot but because compared to other double wides we’ve looked at … it’s NOT alot. (We saw one that was a little over 1,200 square feet at another place and they were asking $85,000. ) This one I looked at today just felt right for some reason. As far as I’m concerned, I’m through looking. Of course, we’ve also checked out those “build on your lot” builders but their houses are so expensive! Anyway, there are a couple of websites that I’m going to check out that Paula told me about … but I really liked the Clayton one that I looked at today.

Tonight was the Open House at ROTC. Birgit set up a Mary Kay display and I set up a Premier Jewelry display. We weren’t actually trying to sell our product … just get our name out there and possibly get some prospects. I gathered about 15 names that I’ll follow up on. Birgit got at least that many and probably more.

Mike is on his way back from Longview with Chase. Tomorrow is Kelly Cummings’ wedding at 2 o’clock. Kelly and Chase graduated together and we’ve been friends with the family for around 8 years. So Mike went to get Chase because “Flo” (the name of Chase’s old van) just can’t make long trips anymore. He’ll take Chase back Sunday.

Gotta go for now. I’m pooped! I’ve been up since 6:30 this morning, hit the road to Magnolia around 9 o’clock, and got home about a half hour ago.

Here it is … Thursday … and all day I’ve been thinking it’s Friday. What a disappointment when I realized it’s not. Tomorrow morning I’m driving to Magnolia to meet with a friend of my sister’s. My sister recently gave me a bed that is really pretty. I plan to use it in a guest room once we get Mike’s mom settled … which probably won’t be until we move to our property. Anyway Paula (my sister’s friend) has the perfect accessories to fit the scheme I want to go with. She has the comforter, curtains, pillows, pictures for the wall, blah blah blah. She said she’d sell it all to me for $30. So that’s what I’m going to do tomorrow when I meet with her. She’s tired of it and has had it packed away for a few months. Apparently she can afford to change her decor whenever she wants to. Must be nice.

We ate at El Toro tonight … Mexican food. Tomorrow night is the ROTC Open House where the parents of the new kids get to meet the rest of us “old-timers.” Birgit is going to set up some stuff to highlight her Mary Kay and I’m going to put out a few of my jewelry catalogs. We’re both hoping we can get some home show bookings out of it.

Erica, Melissa and Kristin just left for Kemah for “Rock the Dock.” It’s on Thursday nights during the summer months. They have a different band that plays each week. Since it’s outside, it doesn’t cost anything. They go to hang out and scope out guys. Ah … to be 17 again … actually now that I think about it, I wouldn’t want to be that age again … unless, of course, I could know what I know now! Aha!

Oh well … nighty night everybody. It’s early but I’m signing off.

And by the way … why don’t any of you other than Chase ever post anything here? All you have to do is click on register on my main page. Let me hear from you … PLEASE ….

I just returned from practice with the Praise Team. It feels good to be back in the swing of things. I’ve missed it and I’ve missed the friendships I have with some of the other members. Well, Mike is at a ham radio club meeting and Erica is watching the Olympics so the house is quiet. I think I’ll have an early bedtime.

Goodnight!

Just thought I’d take a moment … since it’s MY website … to plug a couple of great websites for you to visit.

http://www.premierdesigns.com
This is the main website for Premier Designs Jewelry. I’m an independent jeweler for the Dallas based company. We sell high fashion jewelry … not fine jewelry like a jewelry store where you’d pay thousands of dollars for a piece of jewelry … and not cheap stuff like Wal-Mart and other stores. Our jewelry is very affordable. If you’re interested, click on the URL address. Or you can email me at my Premier Email Address: jewelry@saraurich.com

http://www.marykay.com/bglennan
This is a website for Mary Kay Cosmetics that my friend Birgit has. She’s a Mary Kay Consultant and, like me, is looking to jump start her business. As you probably know, Mary Kay has (in my opinion) the best makeup around and it’s definitely affordable. Besides, you don’t have to go to a department store to buy it … she delivers to your home. Can’t beat that, now can you?

Well I just sent out an email to all my female friends asking them to consider having a jewelry show for me. I hope I get some bookings for September, October and November. I only have one show scheduled right now and that one is Friday of Labor Day weekend. I’d like to have more so I can build the business up. Plus, I need the money, too. During the month of July, my shows totaled almost $1,300. I got half of that … but not really. The $600 or so I got for my share went to pay my car payment, utility bill, and reinvesting the rest of it into my business by buying some of the new fall line of jewelry. I’ve got to have the new jewelry for customers to see when I hold shows so I have to put money back in. It’s a stand off for me. Also, Mike has been wanting a new truck for ages now and I told him if I can get the business built up enough, I’ll contribute half of his payment each month so he can buy one. I really want to do that for him.

This is a picture of my mother and Bob Carringer. He’s also a resident at the nursing home although he’s only 44 years old. He has a history of drinking and drugs and was in a really bad automobile wreck some months ago. He and my mother are great friends. He gets up earlier than she does and makes sure that she has a hot cup of coffee waiting for her. When she gets lost and can’t find her room, he takes her to it. When the nurses fail to brush her hair and she comments that it needs to be brushed, he brushes it for her. Basically, he watches out for her. Sunday (yesterday) was his birthday so my sister and I gave him a birthday card with $10 in it.

Here are some more pictures:

Chase gave me instructions on loading a picture into my blog so I’d like to show you a picture of me and my mother that was taken Saturday at the nursing home. I hope it works … here goes:

She was very happy Saturday because she got to see Chase. It had been awhile since he’d been to see her. Then Erica and Mike showed up and that really made her day. She had all her family there except, of course, my sister, who sees her everyday. Other than asking the same questions over and over again, she was pretty much in her right mind for a change. That’s why I think the new alzheimer’s med we’re trying on her is working. Chase said he was expecting her to be a lot worse than she was so that’s another indication to me that the med must be working because he doesn’t see her everyday so he would naturally notice a change that we might not.

Anyway, I’ll probably post more later. Right now I’m going to take care of this headache that I have. Motrin doesn’t seem to be doing any good. Maybe I just need to lie down.

Sorry … we had a slight problem with the cable company, or rather Chase did, and I was offline for a couple of days. But now I’m back.

I drove up to Longview Friday afternoon and when Chase got off work, we grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed for Giddings so he could see my mother (his granny). It took me about 4 hours to get to Longview and then about another 4 or so hours from there to Giddings. I was pooped when we arrived at my sister’s house! We spent the night there and Chase and I went to see Granny Saturday morning. She was SO happy to see him until she cried. He took his digital camera and we got a lot of pictures of her and the family. If I can figure out whether or not I can post a picture in this blog, I’ll post a couple.

Anyway, Mike, Erica and Victor (Erica’s boyfriend) drove to Giddings Saturday morning. They spent a little time with Granny and then we all went to my neice Susan’s 40th birthday party. Erica, Victor and I left around 6 o’clock yesterday afternoon and drove back to La Porte. Mike and Chase left shortly thereafter. He took Chase to Longview and then drove home. He got home about 3:45 this morning. Now he just left for the airport so he’ll be out of town a day or so. I know he’s as tired as I am.

This morning was my first time (in almost a year) to sing with the Praise Team and Band in church. We do 3 services on Sunday morning at our church. The 8 o’clock one is a traditional style. The 9:15 and 10:45 services are contemporary. Those are the ones we use Praise Team and Praise Band in. So I’m pretty tired now myself.

Anyway, I might post more later today, so check in.

After my talk with Larry yesterday (Maj. Vidinha), he took Erica and Sara out to lunch … just the 3 of them. When Erica got home yesterday afternoon I asked her how the lunch went. She said Larry told them he was concerned about their relationship and how they weren’t talking to each other. He told Sara that even though she was BC, she needed to still keep Erica in the loop of what was going on. You see, that’s been one of the major problems … Sara has made no communication at all with any of the top staff. Most of the time, they don’t even know what time to be at the ROTC building for functions because Sara doesn’t get her staff informed so they can inform the cadets. Anyway, he told Sara that she and Erica were basically “equals” even though Sara was the BC and that in order for the battalion to function, he needed them both. He also told Sara that when she was away from ROTC activities, she needed to just be herself … a 17 year old teenage girl. He said that’s why most of her friends don’t want to hang out with her anymore. He also said the cadets were beginning to choose sides because they know and/or can sense the discord between Erica and Sara. He was concerned about this, too, and he should be! I told him yesterday that even if Erica and Sara tried to present a united front to the other cadets, the cadets weren’t stupid and they’d sense the animosity and tension between the two girls. Erica said that each time Larry would say something, Sara would get a surprised look on her face like she hadn’t been aware this was a problem. I’m sure this was no surprise to Sara. I figure she was trying to “save face” by acting like she hadn’t been aware of what was going on.

Anyway, Erica made a big step yesterday after they got back from lunch and actually asked Sara to help her on the Battalion Training Schedule. Apparently they worked together … somewhat tensely, but together nonetheless … for awhile. Maybe this will spur Sara to make the next move.

Well here I am once again. This must be a record for me … 3 postings in the same day. Anyway, I made a visit to ROTC this morning and had a chance to speak with Major Vidinha (Larry for the rest of this posting). I told him very bluntly that I was concerned about Erica and Sara (Austin’s) relationship … or LACK of relationship. Like I posted a few days ago, he pitted Erica and Sara against each other last year when he was trying to decide who would be the Battalion Commander (BC). They’ve been friends a long time. Now they don’t even speak to each other and the other cadets are beginning to take sides.

I told Larry that I hold him personally responsible for that break in their relationship. I told him it was wrong that he pitted them against each other last year … talking about who was going to sacrifice the most, blah blah blah blah. Hell, Erica has sacrificed for that program since she was in 7th grade (and back then, she didn’t even have to, but she chose to). I told him that he needed to sit down with both of them at the same time and apologize to them. I told him that if he didn’t do something … and SOON … it was going to have a negative impact on all the battalion because the cadets are already taking sides.

He had a talk last week (privately) with Erica to explain why he chose her as his S-3 (informations officer). Sergeant Glennan (Joe from here on) sat in on part of the meeting last week. He also sat in on part of my meeting today with Larry, which I was thankful for. But Joe also told me later that Larry had told him NOT to come to the meeting with Erica. Now why was that? For some reason he wants to keep Joe out of the loop. I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure it’s because he knows how much Erica means to Joe and also because when he (Larry) made his decision last year that Sara was going to be the BC, Joe felt Larry selected the wrong person for the BC position.

Larry said he’d talk to Erica and Sara … and I said he needed to do it before Thursday, when school officially starts. He tried to give me excuses about how busy he is … I know the teachers are busy getting ready for school. The superintendent (don’t EVEN get me started on her!) is making their lives hell. But apparently he must have realized that he needed to do something NOW because he took Sara and Erica out to lunch today … just the 3 of them.

I haven’t had a chance to talk to Erica since the lunch and I’m dying to know what he said, etc. Guess I’ll have to wait until she gets home today.

But rest assured, when I find out the “scoop,” I’ll post it here for you to read.

Okay, I’m awake now. It’s about 9:00, I think.

Yesterday we took Erica to look at the land we want to buy in Plantersville. While we were there we also looked at 4 or 5 other pieces of land in the area but we still kept coming back to the original one. So I’m going to call my friend, Debi, who’s a real estate agent and ask her to represent us on buying the land….you know, do title search, etc. … all the legal things. Once we get the land all settled then our next priority will be making some improvements to the house we currently have. There are a few cosmetic things we need to do.

Friday of this week I’m going to drive up to Longview and get Chase. I plan to be there when he gets off work. Then we’ll drive to Giddings so he can see his granny in the nursing home the next day. She’s been asking for him everytime I go see her. I want to make sure I take the digital camera with me and get some pictures of us with her. I think seeing Chase will cheer her up.

Well, that’s all for now. I have some “business” to take care of. I’ll be back later.

Like I said, it’s early. 5:45 am, to be exact. Erica had to be at ROTC at 5:30 this morning. Mike took her and picked up some others on the way there. Then he gets home and Erica calls to say she forgot her keys to get in. So we search for the keys in her room (”in the turquoise purse” of which there are only 3!) and finally find them. So Mike just left to take them up there. I figured I’d go ahead and get up since I’m awake….or at least I think I’m awake. Come to think of it, I’m not sure now that I mention it! Ha! More later … when I’m truly awake.